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What To Expect From Your First Threesome

05/08/2022
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Is having a threesome at the top of your sexual fantasy list? When Kinsey Institute sex researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller was researching his book “Tell Me What You Want”, he found that 95% of men and 87% of women in the U.S. had fantasized about a threesome. But for those who had dipped their toes into ménage à trois territory, the experience was sometimes unsatisfactory due to mismanaged expectations.

There’s a whole etiquette around threesomes you see, that often gets overlooked in all of the excitement about the sex romp. Before even finding people to have group sex with, it’s important to understand why you want to do this. Once you’ve established this, here’s what else you need to consider.

Think about consent

Everyone has to be equally willing and excited. Threesomes may not be so fun if one person is going along with their partner’s desire, simply to keep them happy. It is also important that any women involved in group sex are not fetishized or made to feel like they’re only required to fulfil male fantasies.

Set boundaries

Communication is key not only in the bedroom but before you get there. Establish what everyone is comfortable doing and not doing. (Now may not be the time to explore an S&M kink if someone doesn’t consent to being tied up.) Discuss whether you’re happy to engage in oral and/or penetrative sex – or not. The bottom line is that everyone should have an equal say.

Practise safe sex 

Safety is an important aspect to a successful threesome and this includes contraception. Who will be wearing what type of condom and when? Or will you all get tested beforehand and share your results? Who will be bringing the lube? Nothing should be taboo and there is no need for embarrassment – looking after the health of everyone involved is smart!

Rejection is part of it.

Group sex is not for everyone. Bear this in mind if you’re the one looking for a threesome partner(s) – if you’re using an app, simply keep swiping. On the other hand, if you’re the person being asked and doing the rejecting, remember to be graceful and non-judgemental.

What happens after?

Once the sex is over, spend some time cuddling or talking instead of throwing everyone out of the bed. Would you like to stay in touch with your threesome partners? This will be different to navigate depending on your relationship status but the most important thing is to be open and honest with your group sex partners.

Threesomes can certainly be a fulfilling sexual experience for many! If you’re looking to give them a go, just be conscious of the preparation and consideration involved.

 

Sources:
https://news.yahoo.com/guide-having-first-threesome-finding-110200756.html?guccounter=1
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/feb/11/threesomes-men-women-sex-psychology
https://www.bustle.com/p/9-things-to-know-about-threesome-etiquette-according-to-experts-11980117
https://www.bustle.com/p/useful-lessons-ive-learned-from-having-threesomes-so-far-39545

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